WHAT DO YOU WANT??-In Search of the Truth-PART 3 of 3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmivKyEY1Dk

WHAT DO YOU WANT??-Part 3 of 3-In Search of the Truth

This is the third of a three-part series entitled, “In Search of the Truth.” Part One shed light upon the most relevant inner truths we need to know—‘who we are’ and ‘what we want.’ Part Two provided easy ways to learn more about who we are (last “Will You Guru” FB entry). Today, in Part Three, we’ll look at what we truly want.

Simply knowing what we want isn’t so simple!

Sometimes, even knowing what we want for dinner is a challenge. This is what went through my mind today. “Hmmmm, should I have salad or spaghetti, broccoli or brussel sprouts, brulee or blackberry pie? I don’t know!” Admitting that I didn’t know was a good step in the direction of knowing. Next, I could tap into knowing by asking myself, “What do I think?” and “How do I feel?.” And the answers were different. My mind went on to say, “As for dinner, I think I want a salad and I feel I want spaghetti. Yes, I want two different things. And, I want an option that is a healthy, win-win between both answers. So, I could choose a salad with meatballs and I-talian dressing.”

The nature of the beast we are

It’s in our nature to be inconsistent and experience a “struggle of wills” between our “thinking” and “feeling” parts. Haven’t most of us promised ourselves that we’d “never do that again,” only to find ourselves doing that very thing, again?! Inconsistency in behavior is a sure sign that we could get to know ourselves better. And that’s most of us!

Common may be normal but it’s also not so good

Inconsistent behavior—saying one thing and doing another, is common, “normal” and expected. An example of inconsistent behavior would be if we tell our family members that we “really need to lose weight,” while we are eating chocolate cupcakes and watching tv. Or, if we repeatedly tell our friends that we “have got to let a friend, love interest or job go,” yet we continue to fiddle with them—sometimes for years. This kind of inconsistent behavior is so common, so ordinary, so normal and so expected, that we become apathetic to our own truth. This leads to feelings that no one is “in our corner” to courageously stand for what we want—not even us! We feel helpless against the part of ourself that we don’t know and understand. It’s no wonder we lose faith in ourselves and feel overwhelmed with life!

History tells the tale

This “human condition” of struggling with ourselves is common and echoes throughout great manuscripts and history. Here are some examples:

“The most illustrious expounders of the law have often been its most notorious violaters,” James Lendall Basford (1845–1915), Sparks from the Philosopher’s Stone, 1882.

“For I do not do the good I want to do. Instead, I keep on doing the evil I do not want to do,” Romans 7:19.

“For the flesh craves what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are opposed to one another, so that you do not do what you want,” Galations 5:17.

“It is a good divine that follows his own instructions,” William Shakespeare.
If we want conflicting things, what do we truly want?

Both parts of ourselves want to be UNDERSTOOD. Maybe one part wants to be on a diet AND another wants to indulge. Or, one part want to hold off on sex until it’s with the right person and the other part wants to simply have sex with a person “right now.” It’s okay to admit that we want contradictory things and get to know ourselves better.

We want both parts to be at PEACE. When our parts fight, it sucks vital energy. We want peace so badly that when we can’t get our two parts to work together, we temporarily shut one out with drugs, alcohol, addictions and distractions.

We want SATISFACTION. Success in this regard requires teamwork. Both parts of ourselves need to be in sync. Just as a successful marriage requires both people work together to get what they want (common goals), both parts of ourselves must work together to get what we want and be satisfied.

Are you ready to play the “I Want You Game?”

If you’re ready to know what both parts of you want, here’s a way to get your game on!

STEP ONE: Ask
Take a quiet minute to ask your “thinking” part:
“What do you want?”

STEP 2: Listen & Be thankful
Use your senses to receive your answer. Make a note of it. Be thankful for the opportunity to know.

STEP 3: Ask again (clarify)
“Is that really what you want?” (If yes, you’ve hit your target. If no, ask again.)
Very often, when we ask ourselves this question, we find that we actually want something deeper. We don’t just want that chocolate chip cookie or human cookie for example, instead we might want love.

STEP 4: Listen again & Be thankful
Use your senses to receive your answer. Make a note of it. Be thankful for the opportunity to know.

STEP 5: Repeat
Repeat steps 1-4 for your “feeling” part:

STEP 6: Be your own mediator
Ask, “What is a healthy way for both parts to be satisfied? Listen to the answer. Knowing what both parts want and asking them to work together to find creative solutions so both win, is a huge step towards getting what we want and being understood, peaceful, satisfied and loved.

What we WANT, what we NEED and what’s BEST

Sometimes, even when we find a healthy compromise between the wants of our “thoughts” and “feelings,” the compromise doesn’t meet what we need or what is best for us. In the next article, we’ll discuss how to know and do what’s best—and I’ll share a personal story of how I choose to walk my best talk down the “road less travelled,” even when parts of me didn’t “want” to!

Truth and Willpower

When we know who we are and what we want, we allow ourselves the opportunity to courageously stand for that. When we make choices, even seemingly small ones—in our truth, we grow and build willpower.

What say ye?

Do you experience two parts of yourself that want different (and sometimes opposite) things? Did you play the “I Want You Game?” Please share your thoughts, feelings and “wants,” that we may grow in strength and willpower together …

Always with love,
Angelique

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