Although we may see our many “mistakes” and believe that we are one of the “few and not-so-proud” who were born without willpower, it’s simply not true. As an expert in empowerment, I have watched as clients have gone from depression and addiction to vitality and success—and it all began by acknowledging the power they already had. In today’s article, we’ll explore where to find this willpower and how to use it wisely.
Willpower is within each of us. It is the greatest of our innate abilities and inalienable rights. By observing life, we can see this truth. When we were conceived, we received the “gift” of POWER that gave us life. We also received the “gift” of power to do with life as we WILL. That is willpower. With this willpower, we are able to truly experience the rest of our inalienable rights: life (not just be alive—but truly LIVE), liberty (or slavery) and the pursuit of happiness (or suffering).
So where can we find it?
In my lifetime’s work—encouraging people to discover and hone their willpower, it pains me to see how few people know where to find their power, much less how to apply it to make life joyful. When people first speak with me about their “failing,” “weak,” and “nonexistent” willpower, I attempt to counteract their misperception by sharing with them an empowering congratulations. It sounds something like this.
“Congratulations (Mrs. I just ate an entire bag of Cheetos and have convinced myself that I have no willpower)! I have good news. We are now absolutely positive that your willpower is, in fact, working! It willed you to eat those Cheetos! Now, let’s get to know the part of you that believes that those little, orange cruchies are a way to make you happy. Let’s find out what you’re really searching for.”
It’s everywhere we act
Every time we act, we are applying our willpower. Every time. Not just when we DON’T eat the Cheetos, but also when we DO. Our willpower can be seen EVERYWHERE we look. Just take a look at life—are there areas that are mostly seamless, smooth, and without major strife? Chances are, those are the areas that we have focused our willpower. By focused, I mean—we wholeheartedly (in every way), want exactly that thing. There is no part of us that wants something else. If, on the other hand, there is an area of our life where there is suffering and strife, more than likely we are suffering from being torn in two, opposing directions by our willpower. For example, if part of us wants to be married and part of us wants to be a gigolo—both parts have the ability to apply willpower to “win” what they want. Unfortunately, this ultimately and often leads to the failure of both parts—the part that wants marriage and the part that wants to giggle-ohh.
How can we focus and use our willpower wisely?
To focus our power, we can simply get clear about exactly what we want. To stick with the example of our intimate relationship, do we really want to keep the marriage? Do we really want it to end? Do we really want to have a marriage and another partner? What do we really want—what is the end goal here? If we’re not just playing around to play, there really is a goal or hope in our heart—whether it’s our personal goal or the goal of following “God/Life’s will or what’s BEST” for us.
To be successful at anything, it’s vital that we take the time to get to know this goal and apply all of our willpower to that end. Maybe our goal isn’t to have an affair … maybe it’s to have a better marriage! Although that may be as frightening as it is hopeful, once we know that, we can make sure that every decision we make supports that fact, and we can learn to be a better mate. We can take time to do the activities that nurture our best health and happiness. We can listen and care for the needs of our spouse. We can explore new ways to grow together and discover mutual passions. If we are whole-heartedly, 100% focused on making choices to support our goal, we are using our willpower wisely. To learn more about discovering what you want and applying your willpower to that end, click here: http://www.willyou.guru/want-need-best/
We can live this life in any way we choose. We can scatter our willpower around, diffusing our energy and succeeding at marriage for a week and then failing. Succeeding at diets and then failing. Succeeding at work and then failing. And ultimately, feeling like failures. OR, we can take the deep dive and explore the beauty of what we want so we can focus our willpower to simply succeed.
I challenge/encourage you. Are you willing to choose a goal and make sure all of your decisions match that goal? It could be as simple as always having a clean countertop, or simply being enlightened. Please share your thoughts and feelings so we may grow in strength and willpower together …
Always with love,
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