When we love ourself, we speak truth. There is no need to lie to get what we want, because we are what we want. When we do not love ourself, we perceive ourself as “not enough” just as we are, and lie to compensate. When we lie, we don’t allow people to love our truthful self–we don’t even let them see, hear or know that part of us. Although the choice to speak truth may feel scary at first, once it’s done, we feel free and invigorated. Speaking our truth increases our self-worth, personal power and honors who we truly are. To add some high-octane TRUTHPOWER to our lives today, we can speak one truth that we wouldn’t have spoken yesterday …
“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality,” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. May every day be lived the MLK way.
“Fear is not in the habit of speaking truth; when perfect sincerity is expected, perfect freedom must beallowed; nor has anyone who is apt to be angry when he hears the truth any cause to wonder that he does not hear it,” Tasitus, Roman statesman and philosopher.
“Only he who abides in love can recognize love … ” author Soren Kierkegaard in his book, titled Works of Love. This quote is great example of the power and impact of how our level of self-love effects our perception of the world. Someone I love recently shared that she wished she could have received my words with the intention that I sent them–with love. Instead of receiving the love that I sent, she received a reflection of what she thought of herself, which was not loving.
How many times have we misinterpreted the love that has been sent to us? How many people have we overlooked, thinking that they were out to get us, when in truth, they were offering us loving care or support? How many people have we turned into enemies because we hate and/or fear our selves? How often have we, in not loving ourselves, blocked our ability to receive love from others? Our deepest need—to give and receive love, must begin with loving our self. If we cannot love our self, we cannot receive the love that is being showered upon us by the world.
Self-Love and Choice
When we choose to believe in love, we give our self the opportunity to know love. Such is the power of choice. So let’s believe in love. What have we got to lose?
Self-Love and Hate
“It is human nature to hate the man whom you have hurt,” Tasitus, senator, governor, counsel, philosopher and historian of the Roman Empire.
When we do things that hurt the ones we love and they respond in ways that we find hurtful (like getting angry or leaving), it is “easy” to choose to blame them. We hate them for treating us that way. The truth is that they are simply responding to our actions and self-hate. We are responsible for both of those—both our actions and how we feel about ourselves. Instead of admitting that our behavior was wrong and that we hate (that part) of ourself, we blame others.
So, can we improve this situation?
Yes. The people we hurt may never forgive us, but we can begin by admitting to ourself that we were wrong and forgive ourself. By forgiving ourself, we can “learn our lesson.” This allows us to not behave this way again. And this is exactly what our loved ones are looking for from us, assurance that we will not take out our self-hate on them.
After we’ve forgiven ourself, we can ask for forgiveness of those we have wronged. They may or may not be ready to forgive us, but they may in time. At the very least, we have begun to heal by forgiving ourself and not adding more self-hate by behaving the same way in the future.