young girl with bright red curly, frizzy hair with a large white daisy behind her right ear. she is wearing a white tshirt throwing up both arms giving two thumbs up in grassy field


Right ON! B-I-N-G-O!! WINNER!!! That’s what we want to hear! But how often does that happen … once a week, month, or lifetime? What if there could be a joyful treasure within our “wrongdoing?” In today’s article, we’ll see if we can find what’s “right” in what we’ve done “wrong” so we can revel in the joy of growing in that goodness.

So we’re “wrong.” Now what?

We’ve ALL been there. We messed up and we feel horrible, and the world looks dark and without joy. Well, now what? Sure, it looks crummy where we are and we want it to get better but maybe we don’t know how.

All right already

Not one of us is all right all the time. It’s better that we accept this and not make such big, dramatic deal of our wrongdoings. If we’re wondering what a big dramatic deal is, it might look like this: pity and anger. For example, if a man “wrongly” forgets his wedding anniversary, he might say, “I am so mad at myself for not remembering my wedding anniversary that I could stab myself in the eye.  Now my wife hates me.  And I’ve been sleeping in the dog pen and she won’t talk to me.  I’m a loser husband—but what she’s doing is overkill and not fair.” And then he might angrily think, “So now I’m going to beat the life out of my dog and throw some stuff around the house.”


So we’ve been or are wrong. Ok. If we plan on continuing to be and do wrong, that’s another story. If instead, we simply accept the fact that we are or have been wrong, then we can learn and grow and change. After we accept it, we can do something about it. Which is ultimately what we (and those we’ve disrespected) want anyway. We don’t want to be sorry, we want change.

Finding “right” in our “wrongs”

In working with people to increase their willpower and overcome addictions, I’ve seen the way we disempower ourselves.  We do so by believing and judging that we are “wrong” and then punishing ourselves. Instead, we can empower ourselves by learning to find what’s “right” about what we’ve done “wrong,” and save ourselves a lot of “crying and gnashing of teeth.”

My perspective

Many times, I have had the personal opportunity to “grow” through being “wrong.” There are too many examples to share here, but there’s one that has been the most profound to me.

Being naïve and unwise, I believed that freedom was escape from the rules and discipline of life so I could indulge in sin (aka behaviors that kill—spiritually, emotionally and physically). I was afraid to trust the source of life to provide me with answers that I would LIKE. I was afraid that I would be abused and manipulated—so I rebelled against the authority of Life/God by “doing my own thing based on “weighing pros and cons”.  This sometimes resembled doing “whatever the hell I wanted, my way, because I could”.  And, it resulted in my very own “hell on earth” through the pain and suffering of misunderstanding, loss and disconnect from my best self, my friends, family, and Life/God.

Over and again, I believed that freedom meant that I could make my own choices and do what it took to get the life I wanted. I wasn’t a ruthless rebel who left a wake of destruction behind me, but, I didn’t realize that each of the choices I made through “thinking” and “feeling” the “pros” and “cons” of situations would result in circumstances that left me trapped. Thinking and feeling and pros and cons are limited. So, my choices did not result in freedom, they resulted in limitation. I felt wrong and punished by life, and then, I would punish myself by neglecting exercise, friends and family, working too much, and taking in unhealthy foods and relationships.

Knowing what’s “wrong,” exactly …

It took me awhile to know what, exactly, I was “wrong” about. I wasn’t wrong to work, I wasn’t wrong to want the best for myself. And never having been taught the way to make “right” decisions, I floundered and suffered for years. Until I accepted that …

Little ol’ me was “wrong” to think I knew best

When I say me, I mean the limited me of only the years I have been physically alive. When I identified myself as that limited being, I was trapped by my own history—I made the same “wrong” choices based on the “pros and cons” of how I thought and felt, because that was all I knew how to do! And, when I accepted that this was “wrong,” that I am NOT limited by my history, my thoughts or my feelings, I opened up to Life. I accepted that I was (and am) connected to a universal intelligence that I call Life/God, which has every answer I could ever need to make the very best “right” choices for each of life’s circumstances. And when I accepted that truth and got “right” with Life/God, THAT is when life finally started going “right” for me.

What we ultimately seek is to be one with Life

What we ultimately seek in every “right” or “wrong” choice we make is to be “whole”, “complete”, and in union with Life/God.  The result is peace, passion and freedom. Freedom from fear and freedom to experience, express and create. So how do we do this?

For me to truly know freedom (and everything else I have learned), I had to be willing to submit to the “greater power and intelligence” of Life/God. Instead of resisting so I could “do it MY way,” I took time to STOP, ASK, LISTEN, ACCEPT and then ACT accordingly. To read more free info on how to access true and “right” answers by “looking within,” click here

Such JOY I now know

That “thing,” that “way of life” that I had read about for years, but, never experienced, called “co-creating” or “living in union with Life/God” or “following God’s will”, and “feeling complete” is the greatest Joy I have ever known. And it was born of my greatest “wrong” of rebelling against the authority of Life and arrogance that I knew better (based on my past). I now live in the continual “current” of peace and passion and creativity that makes life a joy to live. Although I was “wrong” about where to find freedom and joy, I allowed those “wrongs” to be transformed into the biggest JOY and “right.”

What say ye?

What “wrong” have you committed lately? Can you find what’s “right” and experience that joy? Please share your thoughts and feelings so we may grow in strength and willpower together …

Always with love,

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