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If we feel like we’re “stuck,” getting the “short end of the stick” or simply don’t like the life we’re living, this may be the perfect moment to “get down” with our old, “bad” self and say goodbye. Could there be a new “us” waiting … hoping that we’ll rise up and live again? In today’s article, we’ll explore ways to breathe new life into our lives and resurrect ourselves from the doldrums of the living dead and begin to REALLY LIVE.
As an expert in willpower and empowerment, clients have come to me feeling “stuck” in the trauma and sadness surrounding their circumstances. FYI: addictions thrive in “stuck” circumstances. Most of us can relate to this “stuck,” or “dead” feeling at one time or another. It often follows a trauma and hangs with us as we wonder if life is worth living. This stagnant, stale, sinking feeling often keeps us still—we may even stay put, lying lethargically on the couch or bed and drowning in depression. And who wouldn’t look for a way to “escape” pain—even if just for a moment? Question is, will we take the shortcut quick fix Band-aid that leads to addiction, or will we take the longer road to true happiness?
Symbolically, “stuck” = “dead.”
Whether or not we believe that being “stuck” is equivalent to “death,” for those of us who’ve “been there,” (or are there) we could certainly agree that being “stuck” doesn’t really feel like living. Sure, we’re alive, but not full of life—vital, curious, healthy, glowing in love or in joy.
Do we fear staying “stuck?”
Although what we are about to read may ignite an ember of anger within, I kindly ask that we hear this out. Although we may feel afraid that we will always be stuck, this is only true if we will it to be. The willpower to be “unstuck” is also within each of us. Willpower is the greatest of our innate abilities and inalienable rights. By observing life, we can see this truth. When we were conceived, we received the “gift” of POWER that gave us life. We also received the “gift” of power to do with life as we WILL. That is willpower. With this willpower, we are able to truly experience the rest of our inalienable rights: life (not just be alive—but truly LIVE), liberty (or slavery) and the pursuit of happiness (or suffering or “stuckness”). To read more about willpower, click here http://www.willyou.guru/we-all-have-willpower/
Gotta Die to Live Happy
Let me be crisply clear. When I say that we must die in order to live, I am NOT talking about dying a physical death like suicide. Make no bones about this. Rather, I am talking about dying to the old way of life of addiction and fear and being “stuck,” so we may experience a new life that flows and moves with happiness.
There is no middle way, halfway or sort of dying to the old way. It is or it isn’t. Either we are or we aren’t. If we die to an addiction, that means we don’t pick it up on weekends, when we’re overwhelmed or when it may seem convenient. Addictions survive because we keep them alive by feeding them. We feed them with habitual behavior, with fear that we can’t live without them and with doubt in our ability to kill them (or let them go).
After working with addicts for most of my life, the ones who overcame addiction and are fully enjoying life, are those that allow their old self to die—along with all of its hurtful habits. Then, they resurrect a new self—a happy one.
Ready to Die (Happily)?
If we’re ready to die to the old, frustrated, pitiful, sad, depressed, failing, whining, hiding, lying, cheating, stealing, lazy (insert your story) of a person we’ve been, there are many ways to go. Below are two ways that my clients and I use to die to our old selves and become happier people (by our own admission).
Dying softly: with faith (my personal favorite)
Regardless of whether we are religious, we can be observant. And as we take a look around this profound creation that we call “life,” it seems obvious that there is a creator of this creation. That being said and accepted, that power is infinitely wiser than any single (separate) one of us. That “Intelligence,” or “Creator,” can be asked to help in any way and at any time, for anything. In this instance, if we are ready to die to our addictions or fears, we can ask “Life/God” to TAKE AWAY any and all cravings, desires, hopes, dreams, fears, tendencies, habits and anything else that holds us back from our best. ***For this to work, we ask with humility,with our whole heart, with faith that it is possible and knowing that we are worthy to receive help. (If we check in with ourselves to see if these qualities are present, we can make this change easy—even if we simply realize that we need to ask for humility first, before we ask for help!). So, are we ready to die softly? Just ask. Or we can take a different, rougher route …
Dying by thundersome blow: with commitment
If we fully commit to quit whatever shenanigans we are into, we can be our own damn policeman and shoot to kill the addictions. How? We watch every thought, word, deed, hope, distraction, choice, glance, habit and allow ONLY what we know is best to enter and exit and stay in our being. Period. Is it making us the person we want to be? Do it. If it isn’t, it has to go. Are we ready to slaughter the old self? Commit with certainty—which requires whole-heartedly choosing and applying vigilance.
Is it best to let our old, “bad” self die?
To learn more about discovering what we want and applying our willpower to that end, click here: http://www.willyou.guru/want-need-best
We can live this life in any way we choose. We can scatter our willpower around, diffusing our energy and succeeding at healthy living for a week and then failing. Succeeding at love and then failing. Succeeding at work and then failing. And ultimately, feeling like failures. OR, we can take the deep dive and explore the beauty of what’s best for us so we can focus our willpower to simply succeed at LIVING and die to our old, “stuck” selves.
I challenge/encourage you. Are you willing to die to the dastardly deeds that drive you to drama, destruction, denial and disaster? Are you willing to walk in faith? To commit to your best? Please share your thoughts and feelings so we may grow in strength and willpower together …
Always with love,
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