Allowing ourselves to heal–from whatever ails us, can be easier said than done. Whether we’re aching from the pain of what was, is, isn’t, or might be coming, any feelings and/or belief in brokenness tend to draw us to seek relief.
Relief can come in absolutely any form. As a coach in willpower and empowerment, I’ve seen both the healthy and the destructive sides to relief. In today’s article, we’ll take a look at both, and specifically, at one, simple change we can make TODAY that can begin to transform pain, bring lasting relief and open the door to joy.
Pain, pain go away …
When we’re in pain, really experiencing what it has to offer (sounds sadistic, I know), it can be downright debilitating. None of us are immune to this (as far as I know). Even if we simply surmount our current pain level with a dollop of drama– by complaining about it, feeling sorry for ourselves, or playing that song that reminds us of the pain, it compounds the pain like a heavy, wet blanket. It’s hard to shake off! And if we stay under that cover too long, we might just start to believe that the pain is too heavy for us to survive and will last forever. We might believe that pain is “just the way it is,” so we should “get used to it.” And if we truly buy into that, my friends, it’s the death of hope.
Hopelessness leads to heedlessness
Once we’ve lost hope, our joy in life is in grave danger–and this is no small problem. For in surrendering hope, we may also become heedless, not caring for our character, health, families, jobs.
When “cope” replaces “hope”
Having worked closely with many people who have given up hope, I’ve noticed that without it, traits such as apathy, fear and coping mechanisms (like addictions and distraction) thrive.
Addiction & Distraction
Although these things can help us cope–or “get by,” after awhile, they become dreary, tiresome and boring. And, by “giving in” and doing them, we reinforce (in our minds) that a better way isn’t possible–that “this is as good as it gets,” and “the best that we can do.” Eventually, we may even surrender to the “Big Dupe,” that I call believing in the lie, “I can’t.” Meaning, “I can’t” help it, “I can’t” change, and I am a victim of life. At this point, Katy bar the door … because if we believe that we are a victim of life, part of us has died. We ARE life. Everything in life changes, in every moment–including us. The question is, are we consciously changing to become more vibrant and joyful, or are we unaware of our changing? We were not always this way. Think of when we were younger … .
There is a better way
No matter how far we may have gone down the rabbit hole of hopelessness, I promise with my whole heart and many years of personal and client experiences, that there is a better way. And yes, it can be better and different.
The Little Engine that Could
Some of us may be familiar with the children’s storybook that featured the little engine that could. This little engine, as adorable as he is with his little, round-white face and his poppa-wheelie posture, is WAY smaller than all the other trains. One day, when he is waiting in the engine room with all the great-big-powerful engines, a long and heavy load of freight cars comes in, and asks one of the other engines to pull them over the top of the hill. “No, that’s far too much weight for me,” each replies. When the little engine is their only hope, they ask him, “Would you pull us over the hill?” The little engine thinks for a moment, then says, “I think I can, I think I can.” And then, he successfully does!
You get the drift
Whether you are a big engine or a little engine, whether you think you can, or can’t, you are right. If you’re ready to heal from whatever it is in your life that needs healing, the very first and most important step in healing your Inner Engine, is to think you can. To believe that you can. To know that you can. And that little change in perspective can begin to change anything.
What say ye?
What area of your life have you said “I can’t?” I gently ask you, what small step CAN you make?
Always with love,